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I Need A
Dozzie
"Oh, bartender can you get me a
Dozzie?"
"Sorry Madame I'm unfamiliar
with a Dozzie"
"Unfamiliar young lad I wish I
could say the same."
"Can you tell me what it
contains for alcohol?"
"I think it contains a little
bit of all you have on the wall."
"Madame, that will put you six
feet under!"
"At least then they won't be
able to find me Sir."
"Can I call a friend for you,
it's obvious your very sad?"
"There's nobody you can call,
they think I'm very mad."
"Well, I think you need some
help Madame."
"Yes, I do so can you kindly
get me a pom-pom?"
Yoo guys, she’s right here, I found
her!
Sitting at the corner of the bar
My goodness, she’s ordered a pom-pom!
Now I’m sure it’ll get bizarre!
Mphm.....singing her cheerleader
song!
In her glass NOT H2O!! (Eggnog?)
Watch out! What’s that over there??
Omigoodnes, it’s her alter ego!!
Hey Justin,
your Justin Thyme
to join me
for a dwink.
Wait!
How did you get here?
Oh no,
don't tell me.
Hey,
ever have a Dozzie?
This here tender
hasn't a clue.
So here's a Pom-Pom
Cheers!!!
Give me an S
Give me a T
Give me a U
Give me another T
Give me an E
That spells
I'm through.
Cheers!!!!
Yeah, rah, rah,
go Justin go.
I guess that I am Justin Thyme
to tell you that I'm feeling FIME...
no, wait, I mean I'm feeling good
and need no "dozzie" in
this 'hood...
But being that I'm at The Pub
I'll tell you this, well, here's the
rub...
I sure enough could use a drink
'cause Cratchet's here with nod and
wink...
She fell off of the green barstool
and looked at me as if a fool
and said, "This Thyme I'm
getting up"
then looked at me like a lost pup.
What Pub conclusions summarize?
I offered her my hand to rise!
I picked her up from off the floor
and asked her if she wanted more.
Her answer baffled, I admit.
She said, I want not none of it.
She said, Please take me out the Pub
and take me home, now here's the
rub...
Although she was quite painted sweet
and didn't drink her vodka neat,
I hadn't quite an idea slight
that she was Cratchet dressed in
white...
You see, she usually had on
a nurses costume and would don
a hat that matched the rest,
because,
she surely wasn't Santa Claus.
Well, anyway, I picked her up
from lying on the beer stained Pub
and took her to the telephone
and left her quite indeed alone.
I gave her thirty cents and then
I called a taxi to attend.
I beg you, readers, comprehend...
No more could I Cratchet defend...
She didn't even see me there...
her eyes were troubled with despair.
And yet, 'twas Thyme, she can't
refute,
who watched her while she 'scaped
the 'Stute.
Justin please don't leave me here
it's always being alone what I
fear,
(alright I can handle this just
fine)
"Bartender, a glass of white
wine."
"Hey D.J. how about some
Disco?"
(Like I would want to Tango)
"Now that's more like it
YMCA"
"Com'on everyone YMCA"
(O.K. so I missed a few lines)
"Why am I wrapped in
vines?"
"Lady are you O.K.?"
"You tripped over our
equipment."
"Then you are in agreement,
that I am all wrapped up?"
"No other answer to that but
Yup."
(Now what do I do for fun)
"I know you don't think I am
a Nun,
so help me get untangled
I have an honor to uphold!"
Private conversation...LOL
Do I sound like I'm talking
to myself again, oh dear.
Really I bid you not to go,
please come have this one
dance with me.
Your the first gentleman
to walk through these doors
tonight,
please grace me
this one request
you won't regret it...LOL
Do they serve carrot juice in here?
I really need a fix, I fear
Those nuts who work in that there
'stute
Have fried my brain; they stole my
loot
Say, brother, can you spare a dime
To save this bunny Justin Thyme?
A little drink would hit the spot
There's nothin' like a carrot shot
(or two)
(six hours later)
Say, Nursie, dear, you wanna dance?
*wiggling ears*
I am the king of pub romance
These other guys have met their match
Yes, I'm the hunk from the carrot
patch
So come on, Cratchet, twist and shout
Let's show them what it's all about
(And soon I'll have that 'Stute door
key
I'll be a bunny hoppin' free)
Sorry Bugs I know your kind
and it's time I had special find.
A man to sweep me off my feet
and looks that can't be beat.
My mentality will become younger
as I seek one with Excalibur.
This lady shakes a ball room
when allowed to escape her broom.
I'll be waiting for my gentleman
to dance till neither one of us
can.
Tis all in fun I draw my gun
in laughter ever after
no sword of evil do I possess
that makes a reason to address.
I'm harmless as a flea,
as long as your not a honey bee.
So poor old Nurse Cratchet
She just couldn't hack it
Went to the corner pub for a
drink
She ordered a Doozie
To make her feel woozie
And to keep her from having to
think
But with bar tender stumped
As to which booze to dump
Our Nurse C got a PomPom instead
She quickly drank in down
And then fell to the ground
There made the floor and sawdust
her bed
I was on furlough pass
Acquiring some gas
Doc Moose my chaperone drove the
car
Heading back to the 'Stute
We chose the pub to lute
So we could restock the Doc's wet
bar
We arrived Justin Thyme
To save Cratchet from crime
By two ugly bruisers at the scene
Just like the Lone Ranger
Doc entered the danger
And sedated both with shots
morphine
In all of the fighting
Behind the bar hiding
I found Johnny Walker Red and
Black
I snagged a case or three
For the Doc, Nurse and me
Along with some fine bottles
cognac
With Nurse C in the car
We departed that bar
Singing Hi-Ho Cheerio and
Awaaaayyy!
And in the fading light
As we drove out of sight
"Who were those masked coots?"
I heard them say.
But when back at the 'Stute
We unloaded our lute
Nurse Cratchet could not
discovered
In all of the ruckus
We grabbed the wrong tuckus
The bar tender we had recovered
So we're on our way back
For the nurse we do lack
Wind up the karioki machine
We're gonna sing and dance
Have a little romance
And paint the town red in
gasoline
Andrew my man I knew you'd arrive
but so fast off you did drive.
I was screaming for you to stop
until I was interrogated by a cop.
He said if I was part of the crime
that I would be put away to do time.
My time serving anything is over
I'm becoming a Passions rover.
How could you take the Bartender
when you know I am more slender.
Now you want to sing and dance
and venture a taste of romance?
I've come to find
Justin Thyme,
he said he'd meet me
to act our rhyme.
"Have you seen him
in these parts,
or could he be
in the back
playing darts?"
I'm sorry Nurse C for leaving you
free
When things got really crazy at
the pub.
During the scuffle I got all
ruffled
Grabbed the bartender in all the
hub-bub.
I have to agree, you're cuter than
he
The tender we're bringing back to
the bar.
But wouldn't you know, Doc's car
just won't go
And to walk two blocks is really
too far.
So with thumbs up and out, at each
car we shout
We'll be at the pub as soon as we
can
The problem we face is this mad
footrace
Between us and the white-coats in
the van
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