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by Dr.Moose1
Dear Doctor it occurs to me
perhaps it was your destiny
That led you here of all the places
would you help me with these basket
cases?
Now I'm not sure but I've a hunch
that some of them are out to lunch
And those that aren't may as well be
Oh, and can you work for free?
I would not ask but the need is
great
and since you're here by quirk of
fate
Please consider my proposal
I put myselves at your disposal
In this forum we both could host
with apropos decorum for those who
post
A "Dear Doctor" segment in
the up-coming weeks
and treat their disorders with the
words that we speak
I await your reply, oh most learned
one
with this cast of whackos it's bound
to be fun!
Sincerely,
Dr.Moose1, A. Vertyser (deceased),
E.Fudd, M.Marceau, et al
Dear Dr Moose1,
I am here at you disposal, for you
and the
needy folks of passions.
First off we should work on some of
your problems....
Its seems to me, this environment may
be affecting
you more then you think. You appear
to have
conflict of self. You refer to
yourself as the one
Moose, this in itself is not too
serious, but then
you refer to yourself as in this
statement...
I put myselves at your disposal. This
is a multiple
personality disorder that seems to
live in denile
with the fact that you think their is
only one of you.
Also referring to yourself as E.Fudd,
M.Marceau.
You personalities have taken on
celebrity status.
So have no fear my good Doctor well
sort out
who you are, and help our good
Friends here
at passion in the process...
Sincerely,
Sigmund Freud
I guess that I am Justin Thyme
to tell you what I think.
I think that Freud here is a fraud
and Moose drove me to drink!
These two are simply patients
at the 'Stute, they are not
shrinks!
Please witness how their verbiage
mocks
the way each other thinks.
Now, as for me, I left that joint
for bigger, better things --
and life out on the street is fine
with all the pain it brings.
The deal is this, dear so-called
"docs",
no-one here is on trial.
And so-called Freud, this is the
way
a person spells
"denial".
Denial isn't just a stream
in Egypt, don'tcha know.
I think you BOTH are
"Multiple".
Your schizoid selves now show.
And so I leave you doctor dudes
to try to treat each other.
And as for me, I'd rather have
some guilt dosed out from mother.
Our mother dear, Ms. Justine Ate,
she was accusatary.
But frankly, "docs",
analysis
by you guys is more scary!
Dear Doc Moose:
What if Sigmund's a fake
all we've done he'll break,
shatter it like mirrored glass
laughter without any class.
I fail to see the logic in this
we've together created bliss
amongst all our patients here,
another to the mix dines fear.
Please hear me Doc Moose
before we discover a ruse
I admire your healing powers
no desire to see leaning towers.
PS: Meet me in the supply room
No worry Nursie
if he's a fake
I'll take care of him.
Sigmund,
Since we're getting personal I may
as well call you
that. As much as I respect your
professional
opinion, I may have to disagree with
your
assessment. While true that I refer
to myself
as 1, in the Zen philosophy this is simply
a statement of being. So therefore I
have no
conflicting illusions. Might I
suggest we
get on with helping those truly in
need?
J.T.,
As a former ‘Stute resident, which
you freely
admit, do you really think you're
qualified to
assess the mental status and or the
medical
qualifications of myselves and my
esteemed colleague Dr. Freud?
My Dear Nurse C.
Surely he can be no fake
of phallic prose he does partake
And if he is at least he's good
not your average peckerwood
Doc
The supply room eh, now I wonder
what she wants with me in there?
Nope. Guess not. But are you?
If so, I could use some
psychoanalysis
because the world outside the 'Stute
is
rather confusing, y'know?
Oh... and some Demerol.
Thanks!
Justin Thyme, thank you for
pointing out these
spelling errors... my English is
not to good,
leaving Vienna was a difficult
adjustment
for me...
Now to you. I can see being
released from a
high security institute can be a
long and tiring
adjustment for one such as
yourself. The
street can also be very difficult
to get along on.
I can see that your ordeal is
still very hard on
you. You continue to think that
you are on
trial, but this will pass my good
man. You
should try to accept your freedom,
embrace
it, not your mother, and seize the
day.
I will be available anytime you
need to
talk, you can also bring your
other twin
brothers with you. It's important
to have
this kind of support. Please tell
Justin Kace,
Justin Nuendo, Justin Appropriate,
Justin Pain,
Justin Toxicated, Justin Tolerable,
Justin Spire
they are all welcome and to not be
afraid of the
Doc's we don't bite. All analysis
is free, we just
want to help in your multiple
personality
complex. Please come by next
Thursday,
we have a whole wing booked for
you and
your multiple kin.
Nurse Crachet, have no fear, I
won't interfere
with your little group session,
I'm only here to
advise. … Also I must point out
that
your statement…
I admire your healing powers
no desire to see leaning towers.
Is a direct contradiction, for your
true desire
to be manhandled? This is evident
with your
frequent, visits to the supply
room, and offers
to intellectual types. This is not
a problem in
itself, unless you plan to use
some object in
the supply room, at which point I
would
say proceed with caution.
Jeannie, I'm sure the good Dr.
Moose1
will take care of you.
Dr. Moose1, I think a visit to the
supply
room is in order, good luck
Freud.
Jeannie, how nice, that you could
drop by
I've not been off-planet I didn't even
try
But where are my manners, please let
me introduce
The great Dr. Freud, who from what I
deduce
Believes that the problems that
plague all mankind
originate somewhere south of the
mind
An interesting theory to say in the
least
for without higher thought, wouldn't
we all be just beasts?
J.T., I'm surprised, nay quite
appalled
that you would ask for Demerol
With all the new drugs that are
out on the market
(If you're driven to drink ) your
car, they will park it
And were I to psycho-analyse,
I'd say you're one great bunch of
guys
that with no ifs, ands, or buts,
give meaning to the phrase
"We're nuts!"
What's in the supply room?
Wouldn't some like to know?
It's as innocent as the nose
on one's face, but then again
what's in a nose could incriminate.
Why in the supply room
is more the question to ask
but why ask when your minds
wander to places of ill retrieved.
Only Doc and I know the reasons
and foreboding all conclusions
innocence reigns amongst
professionals.
Yeah, ok fine, Freud. But what about
the Demerol?
Free analysis won't do me any good if
this pain
continues. I'd like to have the kind
I can push a
button for any time I need it.
Thanks.
Mom would be proud of me, by the way.
I've
been staying at the library with
Marion the
librarian... she's been kind enough
to give me
work even though most days, I'm too
depressed
to climb the ladder in the stacks.
And all this
time, I've never told her about Mom's
animosity
toward librarians and how she used to
call me a
"bookworm" every Thyme I
read the comics
under the sheets with a flashlight!
I've done my
mother a great favor by not
ridiculing her in public.
The 'Stute never helped, btw. All it
did was add
to my anxiety. Too many cartoons
there and
not enough Demerol.
I'm a mess, Doc.
Help. Please.
Master, I would never question
your manners or lack there of,
you've put up with me through
all my misguided adventures.
I just fear this new Doctor
he may not understand me
and my special talents.
Please keep me safe
don't let him play
with my sane mind.
Dr. Freud,
Concerning the one we call
"Nurse C."
Oh, Nurse C., I'm so glad you found
the appointment
book in the supply room! I can't
imagine how it got
there! Could you please look up the
next patient?
I only see her professionally though
rumors
abound please be advised sir that
nothing goes
on between me and her. In my humble
opinion
as things go so far the smoke that
you're
blowing, ain't from a cigar.
Doc
Doc,
The book is full of emptiness
not a patients name written,
how did this book get in here
and why has it been altered?
I'm suspecting it's a petty crime
committed in this here room
wherein someone has to hide
evidence and throw us off track.
We'll catch them I guarantee
their brains be ours for picking,
we need to start looking for
clues
where do you suggest we start
Doc?
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