Doc's Delusion (or "Fudd is Sicker Than Walter”)

 

by Dr.Moose1

 

For a good "Thyme", this was quite a place

Oh sure we had Cratchet, just taking up space

Laughing at fate, we threw food during lunch

Lost some more brain cells, that machine packs a punch

 

Oh what the heck, there's more where they're from

Won't need them for dinner, looks like no-one will come

Maybe they're hiding, like kids who've been bad

Everyone in here, but me, is quite mad

 

'Bout time I start looking, for a way to bust out

Evening medication, makes me twist and shout

Will anyone join me, I must be on my way

Although I'm in here by myself, "majority rules" today

 

Ron's the one that built this place, and sent out invitations

You couldn't ask to find a better host, with fewer machinations

Quintessential quality, in all things institutional

Unless of course you try to leave, and are diagnosed delusional

 

If it comes to that, grab your hat

Every time you visit. They've got one here

That'll scorch your ears, with electricity exquisite

 

Into this place I Mamboed, by myself but not alone

'My feet dancing to the beat of "Serling's Twilight Zone"

They thought this quite unusual, I guess they didn't see

What they deemed delusional, they projected onto me

 

And the deeper they looked, they liked less what they saw

Could'a knocked the whole bunch down, with a sody-fountain straw

Kicked them in the PHD's, if given half a chance

Inserted some spare pocket change, and told 'em all to dance

 

Not me nope no way no how, I just let it go

Got better ways to pass the time, than this dog and pony show

They can't fool me around the block, I'm wise to all their tricks

Having been to 'stutes before, I know who's really sick

 

All those on the outside, there's more wrong with them than us

They don't know they're outta control, and no-one's driving the bus

Screwy as it just might sound, keep this under your hat

Could be if the word gets out, we'd fill up just like that

 

Right now it's pretty lonely, they're all gone today

Everybody but my good pal Walt, he's never far away

Walter keeps me company, he knows all the 'toons

Yup, even the red dwarf's name, the one that Pluto moons

 

Ratchet used to tell me, that this wasn't so

All she ever wanted, was to wreck our fun you know

There were times I'll tell you, when I just kept on talking

'Cause it seemed the only thing, that drowned out her constant squawking

 

Having clued you in, let us now begin

It should be no surprise. More than what is here

There shall be made clear, before to us she's wise

 

Shhhhhhh! heh heh heh heh heh

 

 

Nurse Crachet

 

Shhhhhhh!

I think she's hiding

in the rubber room,

follow me

I'll take you

where you need to go.

First things first

drink this water

you look a bit dehydrated.

 

(never trust your eyes

they can play tricks on you)

 

No more twacking Rachit

till the rubber room

sets you free.

 

 

E.Fudd

 

Kwatchit got wise, to my wittle twicks

I twied to be qwiet, but it didn't help one bit

She's one cwafty wady, I'm wewwy supwised

She found my aqwostic, with no help fwom you guys

 

When I wasn't wooking, she picked up the thwead

Which I weally thought, was over her head

And now things are going, fwom bad to worse

Save me fwom this qwazy nurse !

 

 

Dr.Moose1

 

They thought me delusional

'Cause of things unusual

I was master of the dance

This guy Fudd's a basket case

He belongs here in this place

That is my official stance

 

 

Dr.Moose1

 

Well, Wook who's calling the kettle bwack

Talk about scwews woose

I've never seen such dewusions dispwayed

You're weally one sick moose

I'm sure they all agwee with me

Though they're being wewwy quiet

A second opinion is what we need

Can anyone suppwy it?

 

 

Dr.Moose1

 

Get all the opinions you want E. Fudd

Though you might have to wait and see

Unless you're schizophrenic "Bud"

It's just you and Cratchit and me

 

 

E.Fudd

 

Now I know you're cwazy doc.

There's more than that in here

I saw your alter ego

And I found somebody's ear

 

 

Dr.Moose1

 

Fudd since you're a new recruit

I'll explain this just one Thyme

The only ones that are in here

Communicate in rhyme

The others are just visiting

They haven't been committed

So quit your fussing and fidgeting

While we get this jacket fitted

 

 

Andrew Scott

 

He does so have to shoot me now! So shoot

me now!... Crachet Season is now open...

Now if I could just find my damn crayons.

Haven't had much time to play since they

put me on hard labor, but soon. A great

read here Dr. Moose... and I liked that

hidden message... you must be getting

the good meds to write something

that creative.

 

 

Justin Bed

 

Yawn.....Who are you people?!

 

 

Justin Thyme

 

I guess I got here Justin Thyme.

As usual, I'm late.

It seems the Doc is now schizoid

(Elmer Fudd, he ain't).

 

Hey, wacko Doc, I wewwy think

you're wewwy vewy stwange.

(HA HA, you talk like Elmer Fudd

because you are dewanged!)

 

Your personality has split

in several little facets!

But still I can't believe that you

are slamming ol' nurse Cratchet!

 

--------------

hehehe

Justin T.

aka Leonardo DaVinci

 

 

E.Fudd

 

Justin Bed

That's a compwicated question

Does anyone weally know

We wear so many masks these days

Our twue selves warely show

 

 

Dr.Moose1

 

Now wait a gosh darn minute Fudd

Who's the Doc in here

I hardly think you're qualified

I've studied this for years

You just showed up and already

You make with the free advice

You're cutting into my billing time

And that's not very nice

 

 

E.Fudd

 

Well Wa-de-da-de-da

Don't have a conniption

I don't know about being a doctor

But as a poet you couldn't white a pwescwiption

 

 

Dr.Moose1

 

O.K. Fudd that cans it

Now we'll have to see

Who's the better poet

In open poetry three !

 

 

Dr.Moose1

 

Andrew,

Meds are god's gifts to poets

 

Justin,

'Bout Thyme you got here, that Fudd's

been getting to be a real problem !

 

 

Justin Thyme

 

Hey, Moose, you've really lost it!

Your mind has is really wacked.

Your IP number's showing,

and it's the same, in fact,

as Mr. Fudd's, your nemesis,

your other nom de plume!

You're schizoid, widdle buddy,

you best go to your room!

 

When Cratchet finds that Fudd's your clone,

she'll chase you with a hatchet!

This nurse ain't sane, you know that, Moose,

she's a Paranoid Nurse Cratchet!

So, tell your wascally widdle Fudd

that he's a widdle woony!

And take your meds just like you should,

or you'll STAY a cartoony!

 

 

signed in blood,

 

Justin Thyme

aka Leonardo DaVinci

Artiste Extraordinaire!

 

 

E.Fudd

 

O.K. Justin but I'm warning you

You're just wasting your Thyme

I'll use wots of w's

And white a wonderful whyme

 

Walking thwew the woods one day

Having wost that wascally wabbit

A big dumb moose came stumbwing by

Twampwing evwything dag nabbit

Stoopid cwumsy big dumd moose

Ugwy and cwazy too

Pwactically wecked the whole darn pwace

Dancing wike a fool

Onwy weason he's still awive, wost his mind and can't wetrieve it

Cause cartoon guns don't kill no-one, they just make-bewieve it!

 

 

Nurse Crachet

 

What's up Doc? You letting Elmer Fudd get the better

of you. You need to slip this cartoon guy some of

ONE FLEW's meatloaf that will quiet him for a spell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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