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Whew! Finally Made it!
by Justin Toxicated
Whew! I finally made it!
Where's my barstool? Get up, dude!
Gimme a big shot of trouble!
And don't try to start no feud!
I had a rough day and I'm tired --
and so I Just want me a drink!
So, pour me first one and then pour me two
'cause I Just don't want to think!
Hey you guys! Where are the hustlers?
They're usually right over there!
Playing pool with their stick -
'nuff to make a man sick...
so ask me if I care?
Those pool pros make more than I do
slavin' and pushin' all year...
sure, their life is a sham, but
you know who I am...
and I just want a BEER!
Gimme some gin and a bottle of beer
and keep the Jim Beam on hand....
'cause I ain't in the mood
to pretend I ain't crude
and I hope you understand.
I worked all this month for the money
to pay for my house and my kid...
but, lemme tell you, and this ain't funny!
The money don't know what I did!
They gave me a check after I worked all week
and it looked like some petty cash!
I almost just threw it in the damn boss's face
or dropped it right quick in the trash!
Whatcha say, let's have a double!
I'm tired of all of this crap!
I hate to bust your bubble,
but I just want to know what's on tap!
I ain't here for conversation...
unless my bud Toe walks in...
so set up the bar at the Corner Pub
and pass around all of the gin!
-Justin Toxicated
(Thanks for having me at the Pub, here!... hey,
you guys seen my cousin, Justin.... the one
on the Enebriated side of the family... he
owes me! Lemme know, k? thanks!)
My how long have you been here?
I thought they throw people out
when the place is closing at night.
Seems you've been here for months
are they paying you as well as me?
Your kin are quite distressed
they're not even sure of an address,
they think they're traveling
escaping to some exotic island.
Come with me Justin Toxicated
we'll have you better in no thyme.
I'm Justin Toxicated.
I've been here for 4 months!
I think I drank 'bout everything
they have here at least once!
I sat here and I waited
so patiently, Lord knows!
I drank some vodka, drank some gin
but you were all no-shows!
And now it's four months later and
you all show up with smiles!
I have all my cigar butts stacked
in itty bitty piles.
I built a log home with them
on top of Jake's wood bar
and when they reached up to my nose,
Jake took away my car.
He hid my keys inside drawer
and told me not to drive.
And so I ordered once again,
so glad to be alive!
On Christmas I was in here
quite calm, yeah, most sedate.
I waited for my drinking pals,
but damn, you guys are late!
I'm Justin Toxicated.
Sure, buy me one more round!
But next time that you promise
that you're coming, I'm not found!
I'm tellin' you the truth, my friends,
my ass is really sore!
I've sat right on this damn stool
while seasons changed, what's more...
I missed the Y2K come in,
and Thyme's lobotomy!
I'm Justin Toxicated.
I'm drunk 4 months. That's me.
signed,
Justin Toxicated
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