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by Justin Ebriated
My daddy's locked up in the joint.
My mother's on the rag.
My sister is a streetwalker
who's living from a bag.
My cousin's name is Justin Thyme,
he's locked up in the 'Stute.
And so's his brother, Justin Kace
this fact he'd soon refute.
My sister, Justine Ormous,
she's a burglar in DC.
And Justin Sayne, my uncle --
he sometimes thinks he's me.
My other uncle Justin Uff,
he's hanging with a gang.
And my aunt Jest (that's Shirley U.)
just stole a blue Mustang.
Justin Denial, my big bro,
is very much my friend!
Justin the nick of Thyme, he came,
with bottles full again!
And people wonder why I drink
and drown out all my cares--
when Justin Nate, my other cousin
stole our MS shares!
That stock today could make us rich!
(Well, Bill is rich as hell!).
But Justin Kace you didn't know,
he first stole then said,
"Sell!"
Within a day, that Justin Nate
sold out our second chance!
And then my uncle, Justin Trude,
refused to take a stance!
See, Justin Trude, he was a judge
elected by the state.
But he eloped and disappeared--
t'was too much on his plate.
"Our family's too
dysfunctional",
my uncle Justin said.
And then he ran off with this whore
and landed Justin Bed.
They say to be Anonymous
would help my mind to think
of why I have decided that
I have to take a drink!
Well, here and now, I'm telling you
I think that they are blind!
They just don't know no families
that are the Justin kind.
They call us Justins horrible...
a screwed up, awful bunch.
And then they wonder why I drink....
I see you're Justin Ebriated
Not Justin Thyme these days
I can no more enable you
That's gest what Shirley says
I've tried and tried to pull you
out
The gutter is your home.
You'd rather carry a brown bag
That's full of Sutterholm.
You're hanging with Jack Daniels
now
And Johnny Walker Red.
Imbibe all night - then in the
morn
You can't get out of bed!!
You wake up in the afternoon
And have another drink..
And if those other two are gone
You put up quite a stink!
I shall not do this any more
I'm gonna play with Hoot
From this day forth you heed my
word
You're locked up in the 'Stute!!
This simply has been Justine
Uff!!
Andrew Scott
LOLOLOL.... Dat be some funny stuff!
Didn't know the Justin family was
soooo
BIG. I don't think the 'Stute has
enough
room for them all.
This is Justin Credible
that you're talking 'bout us.
Justin Ebriated, you're a derelict!
Get back on the bus!
And Happy Thanksgiving to your side
of the clan,
but frankly I'm sick of your ranting,
man!
You're a derelict, Justin!
So keep your mouth shut,
or Auntie Justine will go kick your
butt!
Derelict: "a destitute homeless
social misfit :
VAGRANT, BUM" -- American
Heritage
Dictionary
JC
I think I know that Justin dude
We've tipped a few together
But only when we're thirsty
Or a little under the weather
Or when it gets too hot out
Or the snow is getting deep
Moderate temperatures might do it
too
It helps us get to sleep
If the sun is shining brightly
Or the sky is full of clouds
It's not like we drink all the
time
For crying out loud
And we're really quite selective
We drink only certain brands
Which would be in our case
What comes in a bottle or can.
Hey Justin's your relative Justin Consistant
has enrolled you all in the
community
circus. Sounds like it's right up
your alley,
maybe will get some peace and quiet
for
a spell around here.
Hey Doc, Wooks wike you better
dwag out the welome wagon again!
Hey, guys! I'm back! Been gone a
while.
But here I am again.
I'm Justin Toxicated, see.
They finally let me in!
My cousin, Justin Ebriated,
wrote this little song?
I didn't know that he could type...
he's been smashed way too long.
How can he find the keyboard
and how can he find the mouse?
My cousin's Justin Idiot!
How can he type when soused?
Perhaps this song was written
by another Justin dude...
'cause Justin Ebriated, man,
don't even eat no food!
He drinks from Thyme the sun comes
up
and then he drinks his lunch.
And after lunch, he tips a few
before he drinks his brunch.
And then ol' Justin Ebriated
takes a little snooze.
And when he wakes at half past five,
he sips a little booze.
At seven, he is feeling fine
but thirsty as can be.
He finds the phone that's hiding
underneath the old TV.
And then he calls me up to say,
"Jushtin, whatsh ya shay?
Come over, ship shome wine wish me
and letsh shtay out and play."
By this Thyme, I'm a little looped
and don't think I can drive.
I tell my cousin Justin
that I'd rather stay alive.
Well, Justin Ebriated thinks
he smart and bright, you see!
He tells me this, I kid you not,
"You're Jusht ash shober ash
me!"
I laugh and laugh and laugh and
laugh
until I have to pee!
My cousin Justin Ebriated
is sober just like me!!!
hahahahahahahaha
Justin Toxicated
ONE FLEW OVER
Hey guys, I need some of that stuff
youre
drinking, this nursie here is driving
me crazy.
Where you gettin the stuff from
anyway?
I'll take some Southern comfort when
Someone takes the next run, I'll pay
you
back on pay day. Oh my, I seem to
have
had brain fade no pay here in this
place.
I'll, I'll shine your shoes or fluff
your bed.
Please, please, please I need a taste
of comfort.
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