|
|
The Ballad of Miss
Tracey
Did anybody ever hear the Ballad of Miss Tracey?
On how she lost her dignity and marked her pretty facey?
I only tell you of this tale to help you comprehend,
The how and why Miss Tracey doesn't want to be my friend.
One day Miss Tracey thought it may be fun to race a horse,
With bag and saddle off she went in search of steed and course.
She travelled long, she travelled far, at long last she arrived,
And set foot in Bewilderment, she barely was alive.
A big, huge sign did welcome her, it said; "Race of the year!
For daring devils only and for those who know no fear!"
She was beside herself with joy, with eager signed her name,
In haste she never read the form. This race would bring her fame!
At 5.00 p.m. Miss Tracey went down to the track to find
Out there was not the thoroughbred she'd hoped to be assigned
She cried out: "It's insanity! To ride this I refuse!
Race of the year? You're kidding me! This race is done on Moose!"
"Well hi there little lady", said the Moose to her and smiled,
"My name is Doctor Moose; I sometimes run a 'Stute in style".
I tell you folks, Miss Tracey was real close to a crack-up
But saddled Moose with smiling face; not easy she gives up.
Determination could be seen upon her pretty face!
"I'll ride you Moose and we shall win this absurd yearly race!"
What you don't know: Doc Moose is known to lose his head sometime,
Not able to distinguish back from front! It's quite sublime!
Of all the days he could have picked to lose his foolish head,
Today he lost it, while he yelled; "I'm feeling slightly mad,
I can't make head or tail of me; are we under attack?"
And running round in circles ended backwards on the track.
Miss Tracey hang on tight to what was left of Doctor Moose,
Bewildered looked around to find a way she could vamoose.
"I rather ride a roller coaster, with a double loop,
Than sit on this prize idiot and feel a cantaloupe".
"You're Justin Sane! It's Justin Uff! You're Miss Behavin' too!
And Justin Kace you didn't know, it's MY rear end that feels the woe!"
At this point our Miss Tracey felt more like a Lady Trash,
"You knock it off, you silly cow", and gave Doc Moose a bash.
At high speed Moose came to full stop; launched Tracey into space,
She surely lost her dignity when Moose danced on her face.
Since then all strangers ask: "Is that a Moose hoof on your cheek?",
But Tracey answers: "No it's not, this birthmark's quite unique".
Now should you think Miss Tracey is a little harsh with words
On Justin Genious sometimes, I'll tell you where it hurts.
She doesn't mind my genius, she doesn't mind my grace,
The one thing that she really loathes is Justin's pretty face!
Justin Genious
(soon to be genius)
Genious I see
you penned yourself a little ditty
Tried to tell our readers that your face is mighty pretty
You try to tell them how your're such a a handsome little fellow
But you forgot to mention that your teeth are mighty yellow
Your forgot to mention to them that you now must wear thick glasses
Since with yourself you played after the women all took passes
You also didn't tell them bout this truth I must expose
That on a Saturday you frolic round in womens clothes
Now that would be okay of you could live up to genious name
But I think we've all discovered that your mind is pretty lame
And here you're telling tales about a little race I didn't win
But not to tell the whole truth, well that would be a sin
You see you begged so desperately to get into the race
I couldn't bear to see the stupid mope upon your face
I said I'd let you enter it, I lent my MG car
Little did I know that you would not get very far
I saw you put the car in gear, but not get off the line
The hand of Cratchet grabbed your ass, and beckoned "you are mine"
She dragged you back really fast,- the 'Stute she took you too
What a sorry sight, your trousers held a number two
Now genious I think that you must really change your name
Cause your head only holds one thought, and it's jumped back out again
Now Genious I'm off on hol's, to England I must go
But when I'm in the pub, I'll say you said hello
I think you don't get beer there, in that 'stutee place
So I shall have one for you, and give England a wave
Haha - hihi -
I knew this would bring out the worst in you.
Now go and
wash your mouth with soap girl,
or they won't
even allow you into England.
Btw, I gave your description to customs.
I'm sure they'll make this your best vacation
ever.
In the Tower!
Justin Genious
(soon to be genius)
Home
– Index Part One – Index Part Two – Index Part Three
View
Guestbook – Sign Guestbook - Email
– Links